Round up...

(Key's flower wall art)

There's been a few things on my mind that I wanted to share...

finally watched the grand budapest hotel, with great company (Jerilene, Alyssa, and Kim)! it was good. unfortunately, some raunchy scenes. the film can appear slow but the characters and their dialogue are meant to carry the movie. they did. the actors were excellent. the humor, awesome. again, the dialogue, witty and thoughtful.

watched this video and again it puts me in a dilemma. i've struggled with the idea of deleting my facebook and most recently our instagram. i hate social media and like it. how do these two coexist? i fancy this blog space... i feel it's given me a way to express myself, and i've carved out a little space to do that. it's fun. but facebook and instagram can seem like a way to portray something that's not real-- or half truths (which is not truth at all). i feel like it can be a place to vent, boast, or be indifferent. i'm sure my posts have come off in various of those categories. precisely why i'd like to unplug those two. hmmmm...

being a mexican american can be weird. i've noticed the stereotypes and they bother me. you can be in two camps... poor, uneducated, and uncultured. the other, a menace to society. and there's another that's less noticeable-- trying to get educated, parents are immigrants, life choices or desires are less ambitious than other college age peers. there are times people try to fit me into one of these categories, and if i don't fit, perhaps i'm too "white","asian" or "americanized". growing up, it was rare to find a mexican american who had chosen a path that was well thought out, educated, cultured, helpful to society, and ambitious. i love my people. that's exactly why these stereotypes and true stories bother me. sometimes i feel like i can't relate. but then there's moments when i find someone that blows my own stereotypes away and it's alluring. i must admit, i have stereotypes  too. it's difficult to live in this world without them. sometimes there's good stereotypes that we need and use. than there's others we should refute, rightfully so! i love hearing and seeing mexican americans tear down those stereotypes. on a npr news segment, they echoed what i've been seeing and feeling. they mentioned that latinos won't rush to the electing polls because there's a high percentage of poor, uneducated latinos that are out of touch with political issues. i need to see mexican americans excel like i know we can--by God's grace.

not sure if I shared this before, but it bears re-sharing. such a great article and i find it extremely helpful as i parent my kids in this culture.

i'm excited to "nerd out," as she puts it, on her crafty genius talents, that God has graciously given her! her book is out and ready to be used up by the family! why do I want to be one of her little girls in this video?! ha!

our sunday sermon was intense but SO helpful and needed. thank God for leadership that doesn't hide true struggles of the church! it allows our church community to truly flourish in a Christ-centered way.

The Pastor Wife's Role

Being a pastor's wife is perhaps, not what people think and what people think...

I love being a help mate to my Lovely as he serves and loves our church family. I often hear, read or see things that remind me that the "Pastor Wife's" role can at times be unclear or misunderstood. If the pastor/overseer/elder (the Bible uses these interchangeably) role is unclear or misunderstood to some, then I'm sure the pastor wife's role is too!

I had a few misconceptions myself-- before I became a wife to a pastor/elder.

On one level, a wife of an elder/overseer is like other wives. The expectations are from God, just like any other Christian wife. The biblical expectations for the Christian wife are already difficult to do because of indwelling sin. There are no extra expectations on the pastor's wife, just what she is meant to do that honors and shows Christ to her family, friends, and world.  A pastor's wife is to make her priority the home over other people, things or jobs-- so it is with any other wife. A pastor wife is to love the local church body-- so it is with any other wife. A pastor's wife is to seek her spiritual gifts and use them accordingly--so it is with any other wife. You get the point. 

Now, on another level, being a wife to a pastor is unique, but so is every wife's role. Why? Because you are the wife to an individual who is unique as you are unique. So the whole situation is unique!

What I mean is... the pastor has a key responsibility to grow the sheep. If the sheep are unhealthy, he has a special responsibility to speak into their souls with God's word--he will give an account to the way he has taken care of the sheep that are entrusted to him. All husbands are also responsible for others, especially his wife and children. All Christian husbands are even responsible for other church members. But in a more strict way the pastor has to give an account before God (Hebrews 13:17). Because the pastor has a special obligation to God, their life and ministry will become more intense. 

I love the way Jonathan Leeman expresses it...

Pressures will increase to fight pride, forgive quickly, ignore criticism, love generously, sacrifice time together, and so forth. For her and for me both, the stakes of the Christian life will become higher, and so it will become that much more practically important that we are both abiding in the gospel. You might say that being a pastor or elder's wife doesn't add any new knobs to the stereo, it just turns up the volume. But don't misunderstand: the music is good! 

They'll Be Days Like This...

 

I sort of feel like holding this sign up... This week has been crazy and God is continuing to throw curve balls.

It's not like I'm bitter towards God. I'm not even really questioning him. But I am praying. I haven't prayed like this in awhile. I feel God's bringing me and others to our knees.

CrossView is getting hit by various trials. These trials are hitting close to home for various reasons. I know CrossView is hitting bumps on the road but praise the Lord he is still sustaining us! I love my church family. I can't begin to speak of how PJ, the kids and myself love these people. Serving them is a privilege but, I'm not gonna lie, it's challenging. It's not anyone's fault. It's the nature of sin and that we live in a fallen world. I don't want CrossView family to ever think they can't come to PJ or I because they don't want to burden us. We grieve with those who are grieving and we laugh with those who are laughing.

God help us to rely on your promises. Send grace Lord because we are in need. In Christ name, Amen.

Nicholas's Party

Cool, CrossView cats, headed over to Nicholas's fast, and furious party!

Praise the Lord for another year in Nicholas's life. 

Father grow Nicholas strong and healthy but more importantly to be a man that loves you above everything and everyone. Help Jennie and Carlos to set an example in their home that Michael and Nicholas can proudly follow. Bless their home to be a place where you are first, where Carlos leads them all closer to Christ and Jennie supports. Help Michael and Nicholas to be men that love and serve people with the message of Jesus Christ. In Christ name, Amen.

Cookie Cutter Method?

(image taken from here)

Hospitality

I've given myself credit, in the past, for not falling into the folly of thinking there's a "cookie cuter" Pastor's wife role. I've spread my doctrine to friends and family about what I think a Pastor's wife role is--easy---to be a faithful disciple of Christ, a faithful wife, a faithful mommy, and a faithful church member. Of course there's more to say, but at the end of the day I felt that was the message, if asked, in a nut shell. 

God started revealing sin in my heart. I think I felt proud that I didn't struggle with this complex, as some other wives did. It was lodged in my brain, "I got this." I began seeing my folly--"How can I fail in this? This is what a Pastor's wife is made of, but it doesn't come naturally to me." What was it? Hospitality. 

Growing as a Christian around mature women, who just churned up delicious meals, endless hangouts, wise counsel, and cleanaing up, all in a shorts notice or for multiple times a week! Perhaps I'm exaggerating, but it sure felt this way. As I soon got married, had children, my husband in the ministry, I believe I tried to have the same agenda as previous godly women I observed. I started to sense this didn't come naturally to me. I began seeing my up bringing as a hinderance to this. I felt PJ was from a different mind set, since his up bringing was different than mine.  I felt sad. Why? Idolatry. You see, I wanted to serve to a capacity that I felt good about myself. Good to know that I had the good'ol hospitable badge on my chest, and of course, ALL Pastor wives did....WRONG. You see I was trying to fit in a mold that I sinfully created. I was trying hard to make the shoe fit. 

So reality is-- I don't easily have the urge to always be hospitable. I hesistate to say this, in case some family, friends think they'll be a burden, but on the contrary, it allows me opportunities to say yes or no, without fear of man. My decline to be host on a particular night/day, are never intended to hurt anyone but because I'm getting to know more and more my capacities as a wife and mother, I sometimes need to say no for the good of my soul and my family-- but I need to make that decision (with PJ's help of course:). It's ok to lack, we're human and God's working in us, and it's ok to confess it.  Striving and finding ways to bless other's and be blessed by others, is freeing; that also, can look different for the people of the local church community. 

Discipleship

Being at Capitol Hill Baptist Church was helpful in so many ways. There were many married women and single, which made a great learning atmosphere. I wondered with all these women being so busy, and yet having time to pour into these younger women, "How did they do it?!" It was at a CHBC women's retreat, where the insight was revealed to me. There was a workshop speifically addressing my simple question. There was a panel of wives/moms, with young women. The older women were discipling the younger (Titus 2) and were explaining their discipliship methods. It was genuis! At least in my mind. The women didn't sit down for an hour and read a 400 page book with homework and prep time,  and yet still manage to talk about their lives, blessings, things God's been teaching them, etc. As simple as it was, it was--- watch me. Watch me? There was a mutal understading that the wife, and the young woman, can sit down and talk about things that God has put on their hearts (these conversations can go in so many directions). What's key in this agreement, is--- understanding there WILL be interruptions, because she will serve her family in various ways as she's there, and she can participate by watching, learning, asking questions, etc. Great, huh? I ate that philosphy up and wanted to run with it! I soon started to understand that there needs to be a mutal understanding of this kind of discipliship, but I can totally see how it would be benefical and helpful on so many levels. I'm not saying this is the only way or the best way, but I am saying if you are busy with life, family, friends, church, this method can be helpful and a big blessing. And since I struggle with hospitality, this method is helpful for me in that regard too!

So I beckon other young ladies, don't feel discipleship has to be one specific way (read a book together/ Bible reading), although if it works, then do it, but if it doesn't work for a wife, then adjust with her and trust me, there's lots to learn about being a wife and a mother that can increase your understanding of it, if it's acted out in front of you. This is an out  working of being in a community (a local church family). Assure the busy wife that you just want to talk and pray and want to learn how she cares for her family. This can be helpful in getting an older woman to disciple you. I've heard that a lot of older women can sometimes feel inadaquate if discipleship is asked of them, but this method can be non-aggressive and less can be asked, as far as preparation. Just life--on--life, isn't that what community's about?

There's other ways hospitality can be done,  and there's other ways discipleship can be done. There's no cookie cuter method, just life--on--life.

Roger Williams, Founder of Rhode Island

Rock named his teddy bear Roger Williams. It's great to see his Classical Conversation education coming alive! Speaking of Rhode Island...

Last month our friend Travis came to L.A. from Rhode Island and brought a mission team to bless CrossView. These people were amazing, helpful, full of grace. I'm so very thankful for what they did for our family and CrossView.  

Thankfully, they got to experience Sprinkles! Twice! They also got to feel the breeze of our sunny Cali beach, Santa Monica... Good times!

Maybe one day we'll head out there :)

Thank you Travis, Dan, Andrew, LauraBeth, Melissa, and Hannah! Grace be with y'all in Providence and may He continue to bless you and grow you closer to Christ.

Under The Sun (From Ecclesiates)

On Sunday our good friend Travis (elder/pastor at Grace Harbor Community Church) preached at CrossView yesterday from Ecclesiates (the whole book!) and it was a blessing! Several things hit me and I want to share in bullet points...

• Give up meaning in your own legacy
• Promote what will last (Jesus Christ and his saving work!)
• We are bound creatures--we are on a set path, you can't escape this reality
• We have a limited vantage point of life
• God loves you when he makes things NOT go as planned
• God speaks through futility
• Our ambition is not forfeited but can be redeemed! Our worldly ambition has to die so God can use it for His glory.
• Point #3 Seek your joy in God because wisdom is limited
• If you're wise, you see how unwise you truly are
• Don't carry God's work--celebrate ignorance
• Point #4 Seek joy in God by trembling and trusting Him
• God dispenses his gifts by faith
• We don't have the capacity to enjoy bread without God
• godliness with contempt, is great gain!
• "We can enjoy what we don't worship" Doug Wilson

Towards the end, Travis spoke about children-- as parents we should look at them and enjoy them, but encouraged us, to remember 'they'll grow up,' so we'll feel the brevity of life, how life is fleeting. Enjoy the moment with the Lord, "these are beautiful things, God has done."

Rock, Key and Story can feel like they are ours to keep, which allows idolatry to sip in, but this heart check can be a blessing to my kids, and my own soul as I interact with my kiddos. PTL!

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

Lived a captive Princess...

 Princess Leia

"A wise one he is" Yoda

   And one who would change the galaxy for good, Luke Skywalker

A force to be reckoned with!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 The crew with Padme (Anakin Skywalker's mommy)

 A fun time at Shatto Recreation Center! We were so grateful for those CrossView people who helped out and sacrificed time to be a blessing to Shatto families and workers. Grace be with you all!

It was SO much fun making these costumes for the kids (do-it-yourself can really be fun)! They really enjoyed wearing them around the house and using their imagination to battle the Black Star.

Of course lets not forget why we (Christians) should remember October 31st and the importance of it--Martin Luther, and him being the fire starter to the Reformation! Talk about a world wide, life changer :)

Count Your Blessings

CrossView kids taken Jan 2010

1. A blessed Sunday service. PJ's going through a suffering series that's been refreshing. I feel its been pushing CrossView to remember we are not to seek comfort or live our lives as to avoid suffering but if we trust and believe in who God is through Christ Jesus, then that has implications of suffering for the sake of the cross.

I've been reminded to not expect to live another day, but to be thankful of living another day.

2. Talking to Praise, Kim, Feilbe, and Sally after lunch. Sharing life then being all prompted to pray.

3. Master's students (Brenden, Daniel, Stephanie, Becca, and Leah) being so helpful and refreshing to CrossView. We'll miss them!

4. PJ and I riding our bikes to church! Inspired by this.

5. Alaiza's excitement of Christy's (a new-comer) interest in membership. Alaiza wants dibs on being her accountability partner :)

6. PJ re-telling our love story to the inquiring Master's students

7. D.A. Carson's reminder that we are not to measure God's love by what we perceive God should be doing or not doing, but measure by what happened on a hill called Calvary! Amazing!

Sunday Blessings

Sundays are always a blessing (if I allow them to be) for various reasons.  This Sunday in particular, I had a reminded outlook of what the church body is like...

A bunch of people who at times have little, or nothing in common, sometimes get on each others nerves, blatantly sin against each other, love each other, feel indifferent towards each other, pray for each other, laugh together, cry together, rebuke one another, encourage each other, and much, much more.

Having brunch with A29 wives (a group of pastors' wives) on Saturday was refreshing.  Some of us were able to talk about church issues.  Topic at hand:  difficulties with some people at church.  One pastor's wife spoke of a trial with another person at the church.  All of us were able to pitch in, and shed some light on the situation.   A lot of us spoke from experience.  As we talked and shared we were reminded that everyone in the church is not gonna be likable (including ourselves) so it's how we handle it in light of the gospel.  Lots and lots and lots of grace is required to continue on in a community where every one is as messed up as any one can be, because of our yucky sin.

God is so kind and gracious in giving us a community where what brings us together is bigger than everyone.  Christ and his sacrificial death on our behalf, SO that we can be children of God.  Amazing.

The Gospel Coalition

Last Saturday my hubby helped co-host The Gospel Coalition here in LA!  

A blessed time with other Angelenos.