Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Woman Lust

it's no surprise that the new erotic film 50 shades of grey was released during valentine's day. before it hit the big screen it was already invading the hearts and minds of women with it's printed book.

there's been a lot of talk about how christians should think about the film and the message it's trying to convey-- never think any movie is just a movie, it's always trying to convey a message. the film is a form of art, and it's a mirror to what the culture is really thinking, what art tends to do.

i watched the trailer out of "curiosity" and found myself shocked and interested in the plot. why? i think it was girl lust! i wasn't necessarily thinking of intercourse or sexual images but it certainly could have gone there, but i was more intrigued by the male character and how they portrayed him--handsome, winsome, authoritative, passionate, AND desires the female counter part to the nth-degree. which is exactly what they were going for--women can be drawn to this type of male figure....fiction or non.

It's interesting how women's lust can be left unnoticed because it almost seems to hurt no one. false. it hurts people. it hurts the woman's own soul. i've seen this countless times and it's destroyed families. it's a force not to be triffled with. the outworkings of women's lust versus men's lust can be like night and day but the heart issues are identical. men tend to be more visually stimulated, that's why the porn industry has taken hold of our men's hearts. lots to say about mens lust but i'd like to focus on women.

we women tend to be emotionally stimulated. before a woman commits the actual sexual sin of adultery, chances are she's already had an emotional attachment. why? women love to be desired, to be wanted, this is a good thing BUT in the covenant of marriage, not outside its boarders. if the woman is the object of a man's lustful mind and heart, this can be very emotionally satisfying for her. i wrote this post 3 years ago to warn dating christians the dangers of lust before marriage and what it can look like after marriage. it's pretty scary stuff if not addressed.

I recently was talking to a young man who's dating a gal and i was asking questions about their lust. as you might like to think, you probably would assume he'd slowly be walking away! nope. he pulled up a chair and was intrigued, especially when i came to the girl lust part. he had no idea! he had no idea that when guys lust after the girl it feeds her lust of being wanted--like she's some kind of sex god! it sounds ridiculous but very true. he was shocked, i saw light bulbs going off in his head. i reminded him that even the way a girl dresses can be used to get a lustful reaction from the guy by the short skirt she's wearing, or the midriff shirt she's flaunting. i know this because i was there in my younger days :(

another thing about lust is that it wants to hide. it wants to stay in its shame infested closet. when i watched the trailer i felt ashamed that i was interested in the plot and felt a desire to be in the character's shoes. soon after i talked to my husband about it. he was helpful, supportive and asked good heart questions. i knew he knew what battling with lust feels like. he battles with it like all men/most men do. he does not shy away from confession and wanting to kill sin in his life. my husband is amazing. i really can't express in words the love and every endearing emotion under the sun i have for him. he's helped me to be open, not lie and hide sin, no matter how ugly the truth can seem. truth is the best medicine.

my lovely husband asked "what did you observe that you wanted?" but the question that was most helpful that my lovely asked was, "what do you really want?" my reply, "my husband to love the Lord with all his heart. to love his wife and make much of her and point her to Jesus. a father who leads his children and loves them. a man of integrity. a man who dates his wife and studies her. a man who serves others and points them to Christ."

it's funny but i just described my lovely husband :) he is what i really want, not some fabricated, hollywood, fictional character! even if the 50 shades of grey character was real, he'd sure need a lot of counseling! no thanks.

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