then came kinship...

It’s been a while since i’ve blogged but i felt the need to dust off the good’ol laptop and get some thoughts on here. since kinship podcast is on hiatus i’d like to jump start my writing on here, at least until we begin season 2 sometime in september. 

starting kinship was a blessing. like i said on the podcast (episode 1), i have many thoughts and ideas that i needed to get out of my brain and i didn’t have a consistent platform to do so. then enters...signal the angelic music...kinship. 

the everyday talks i had with bethany, pam and kelly were deep, helpful, and biblical. then a light bulb went off! i thought, what if more people can hear us and get conversations going at their church?! i wanted more people at the table with us. chiming in. laughing. hearing me say dumb stuff. it wasn’t necessarily because i felt we had anything spectacular or unique to say but simply the fact that we were having these conversations. i also imagined other sisters in Christ, at different churches, in local churches, having these deep fulfilling conversations. so how could i bring all this together? signal angelic music again...kinship. i’m not saying our podcast is from heaven but i am saying that the vision i had was to spread the idea of local church love and that’s straight up from the Bible and heaven. can I get some dance music up in here (pumping my fist into the air). 

we’re on hiatus and brainstorming our next season as we maneuver kelly’s departure, baby tallada, and a few other things. we'll pray season 2 will be just as helpful or even more. 

Soli Deo Gloria.

church family

what does the church look like to you?

it varies from church to church but would you say they are family? would they be thicker than blood?

the new testament church was not a sunday only affair. in the book of acts (acts 2:42-47) they devoted themselves to God's word, broke bread, prayed, and helped each other. they loved each other well, so well that the outside world wondered what was going on.

when you live life with your church family you feel encouraged and refreshed. when you live life with your church family you sometimes step on people's toes. A month ago i felt like i was stomping on people's feet! i failed several times in loving people correctly. i had to ask a dear couple for forgiveness because i assumed and i had to ask another dear friend for forgiveness because i came off frustrated towards her. fail. fail. fail. i felt super dumb and super small. it was good though. they were all kind in forgiving me and i was so thankful for our bond in Christ. i was thankful that we were in agreement--when we sin, we ask for forgiveness and we seek reconciliation. no brushing it under the rug. no laughing it off as the pain stings. no bitterness beginning to form. just acknowledgement of our short comings and extending forgiveness because Christ forgave us. this is a church body i am proud to be part of: where we boast in our weakness because we show how much more glorious Jesus Christ is.

thank you bethany baptist church.

conversations on racism

pj and i recently had a dinner date with a few couples. after we headed over to a coffee shop for some good conversations. our dear friends are those type of people you can talk about anything with, so i came with a loaded question.

"what are your thoughts when people say a black man is speaking white?"

the conversation lasted about 2 hours. it was such a fruitful back and forth exchange. a few take a ways that our friends preached.

these type of race questions need to be talked about in discipleship contexts.
how wonderful it would be for Christians of different ethnic backgrounds coming together to talk about presumptions, hurts, and inquiries. how can you truly understand your black friends fear of law enforcement if you don't know their story. you still might not understand but at least it gives you ears to hear. pray God makes you sensitive as you listen and agree or disagree. its ok if their is push back since we are all different and come with our own backgrounds. be loving as you push back. ask your friends to help you reiterate their positions as you chew on their story and scripture.

get out of your comfort zone.
if all you have are same ethnic group friends, or lack another ethnic group, then go make friends who don't look like you! this could sound a little weird in your mind. "Ok, so I need some Mexican friends." but yes, why not? loving all people allows you to grow in sensitivity toward them.

praise God for churches that are striving to understand our fellow brothers and sisters who have stories to tell.

mammoth

after the lovely husband being gone for school we had the privilege of attending a retreat he was speaking at a few days after he arrived home. the group was lovely and couldn't have asked for a better group to get stuck up the mountain with. i wanted to take the kids up to the snow for a few years but couldn't make a game plan. thankfully this trip was exactly what we all needed. 

what we all didn't expect was for us to be right in the middle of a blizzard! according to locals the weather had never been that bad. we had to stay an extra day because the roads were closed. sooooo because we had enough snow to last us for 10 years, i am in no hurry to scurry up any mountain for a long time. 

since we were all cooped up in doors in a small place, it gave pj and i good discipleship moments with the kids. even our own hearts were tried and tested. thank God for grace. 

a great lesson

as america was at their edge of their seats, watching democracy unfold, lots of children were aware something big was happening.

 every presidential race is a great civics lesson and training in a biblical worldview.

 here are some small ways to help disciple your children through this important time, or for the next.

1. read and tell the children the different presidential candidates and their stances on key issues. try to break it down in simpler terms. ask questions like, "do you think God has something to say about this?"

2. talk about God and his Word. speak of His wisdom and what he says in his Word. read specific scripture that deals with government. we read Daniel 3 and sang burn us up by shane&shane, i felt it was very fitting.

2. watch videos that explain the voting process. our family watched bainpop videos. The kids love moby.

3. watch or watch highlights of the debates. talk about what is going on. talk about God and if the nominee is disagreeing with God's Word. talk about their character and what God has declared to be men and women of integrity.

4. refer back to history and the beginning of democracy. speak of empires that have risen and fallen. read scripture like Daniel 2:21
He changes times and seasons;
he removes kings and sets up kings;
he gives wisdom to the wise
and knowledge to those who have understanding.

5. set up a mock voting booth at home where the kids can cast their vote and explain the process.

6. once the president has been declared, pray with your children for the country and for wisdom for the new president and his cabinet. pray that Christians will put their hope in Christ and not in this government or any other. remind them that God says to pray for those in government leadership
whether we agree or disagree with them we must pray for their salvation and leadership that we are under.

1 Timothy 2:1-3
First of all, then, I urge that petitions, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for everyone, ² for kings and all those who are in authority, so that we may lead a tranquil and quiet life in all godliness and dignity. ³ This is good, and it pleases God our Savior.

Let's continue to pray for the church to go and declare Christ crucified.

 

 

Good bye.... for now

CrossView is gone. God's not gone. CrossView will no longer meet together. God and his people will meet in the New Heavens and New Earth. CrossView won't continue the work of the ministry in Los Angeles. God will continue the work in Los Angeles and all over the world.

I'll miss you CrossView. I'll miss the strong fellowship. I'll miss us guarding the communion table. I'll miss the hard conversations that are uncomfortable but so freeing. I'll miss serving in the city with you. I'll miss the hard laughs on Friday nights. I'll miss my home being a mess and y'all gladly cleaning up. I'll miss the fun interactions and the moments you understand that PJ and I are dorks who LOVE to laugh. I'll miss the cries and tears. I'll miss the sleep overs. I'll miss the premarital couseling. I'll miss the I'm not- ashamed- to- talk- about- real- marriage- with- you. I'll miss the biblical counseling. I'll miss singing "Oh, praise the One who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead." I'll miss the CrossView weddings. I'll miss your interactions with our kids. I'll miss the singles bringing around "prospective courtships." I'll miss disagreeing with you. I'll miss our member meetings. I'll miss when some of you ask visitors if they're "members of another church?" I'll miss the men meeting at our place. I'll miss riding my bike to Shatto. I'll miss the 5 minute sharing after the sermon. I'll miss having communion together every week. I'll miss potluck. I'll miss teaching the kids class. Ill miss each of your faces at Shatto.

Thank you.

Thank you for growing me. My marriage. My family. And most importantly my walk with The Lord.

It's funny how some of our friends whom we haven't updated are contacting us concerned with what happened to CrossView. We are assuring them that we did not disband because of any sinful reason--there was no church split. In a nut shell, PJ thought it be best if he found a place where we can be provided for and have more partnership-- whether in LA preferably, or outside of the city.To be quiet frank, I was feeling discouraged because of the lack of members coming to live in LA despite the constant encouragements to come and live here (our original vision). Even the members that did live here, at one point, moved out of the city. We weren't forceful in trying to argue our case of why members should come and live here--we wanted them to move here because of conviction not be we coerced them. God ultimately said no. So we decided God is closing this door and opening another. There's a few details I'm missing but that could be talked about in person and made clear. But in a nutshell, this is what got the conversations off it's feet.

I wanted to be clear to PJ and CrossView-- I would happily stay here in LA if PJ perceived God was giving him a deep conviction to stay here, then I'd follow and understand God's call on him. I wanted to be careful with my words.

God really just set things up for us. I don't know why. Was it our time to leave? Was it time to dust our feet off here? I don't know. But as far as God allowed PJ and I to examine our hearts to see if there was any sinful reason of why we were open to leaving....we could not find any. we wanted to be very careful with our hearts.

Friday Smile

my grandma passed away two weeks ago...it hurts. the family is doing ok. my mom is well, just sad from time to time. it's interesting how death can really make you think. some choose to ignore it...but you can't. death is certain and what you do with your life gives it purpose. it reminds me of this poem by C.T Studd

Only one life, ’twill soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last.

this young woman's story is heartbreaking. i know many are applauding her but my heart aches for the reality that our culture is about death in an unhealthy way. this is not only about a woman dying, but about millions of babies that have died and will die. "we certainly come to understand is that when the sanctity of human life is compromised at one end-of-life spectrum in particular prenatal life, the unborn life, it inevitably becomes discounted at the other end as well." well put Albert Mohler (full article here)... if death becomes a thing you choose, who's to say it's wrong or right when someone wants to take a pill to end their life because they're depressed over a relationship ending? a bankruptcy? a job loss? things can begin to look messy here...

this amazing woman has wise words to depart to Brittany Maynard. she prays our prayer for Brittany too.

our friend wrote a sweet song called "last days," that deals with death. we can't wait till we can buy it on itunes! we're excited for their upcoming performance!

so happy for this guys success and how he's shinning for Jesus Christ! can't forget about our other guy who is a blessing to us! get his album! 

Hard Week BUT...

Last week was tough. PJ was gone for a conference. I was sick while watching the kids. And even when PJ returned, it still was tense.  I couldn't help just feeling overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with parenting. Overwhelmed with ministry. Overwhelmed with relationships. Just overwhelmed.

I felt thin but thank God for his mercy that strengthened my soul. It's funny how sickness can really be a spiritual purging. Comfort, physical comfort, can be quite a foe.

I'm thankful for these times. The hard times. I know it's hard to praise the Lord Jesus during the trials. Thankful for God breaking through and allowing me see Jesus. Without him, life would be unbearable!

My soul is now strengthened-- Realizing how small I am and how BIG God is is refreshing. Leave it to the importance of the historical resurrection story, to open my eyes.

We remind our kids that Easter is not about a bunny, candy or eggs. But it's about a real person, the Son of God, who took the place of our sin, died on the cross, and rose on the 3rd day. His rising (his resurrection) proved to the world-- it showed that his death was the only God accepted sacrifice that could take away sin. Only a sinless, God-Man, Jesus Christ, could bear all sin and the punishment of the world. No other sacrifice or good deeds could do such a thing. Only Jesus' death. So that is why Easter is such a big deal! As one of my favorite hymns sings:

Sin had left a crimson stain,

He washed it white as snow.

HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY

Our dear City turned ONE! It's always bitter sweet... Parents, you know what I'm talking about!

Nothing big, just an intimate time with our little City girl. Time flies.  PJ and I are reminded that these moments are precious, and temporary.

Dear City,
You are amazingly cute and adorable, your Abba and I can't handle it! We are so blessed with you and the opportunity to raise you. We pray for your soul constantly and for grace to be able to be a faithful example of parents, that rely on God's kindness and strength. We strive, by God's grace-- to be light that shines on Jesus Christ, to you and your siblings. You weren't a mistake or an accident but thoughtfully woven and placed in our home by Our Creator. He knew your name before your Abba and I contemplated your existence! We pray you'll one day meet your Maker and call upon him.

Love you constantly (but some times imperfectly),
Mommy and Abba

The 22 Rules Of This House

1. We obey God.
2. We love, honor and pray for one another.
3. We tell the truth.
4. We consider one another's interests ahead of our own.
5. We speak quietly and respectfully with one another.
6. We do not hurt one another with unkind words or deeds.
7. When someone needs correction, we correct him in love.
8. When someone is sorry, we accept their apology. 
9. When someone asks for forgiveness, we forgive them. ***
10. When someone is sad, we comfort him.
11. When someone is happy, we rejoice with him.
12. When we have something nice to share, we share it.
13. When we have work to do, we do it without complaining.
14. We take good care of everything that God has given us.
15. We do not create unnecessary work for others.
16. When we open something, we close it.
17. When we take something out, we put it away.
18. When we turn something on, we turn it off.
19. When we make a mess, we clean it up.
20. When we do not know what to do, we ask.
21. When we go out, we act just as if we were in this house.
22. When we disobey or forget any of the 21 Rules of This House, we accept the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

My Lovely found this helpful list, which in a nutshell explains the way we try to conduct our home, by God's grace! Living as a family is not easy and requires communication and healthy boundaries, right?  A great list to have! We have it printed and in our kitchen. I'd like to write Bible verses to coincide with each boundary, as a reminder to myself, PJ and the kids, that God loves us and wants us to be happy in Him and it's clear through his Word.

It's originally from here by Gregg Harris (Joshua Harris' father). 

***Number 9 was added because we make a big emphasis on using biblical language when we sin against each other. Sorry's are for mistakes, and asking for forgiveness, is for sin.  

Seven. But As Long As I'm Living My Baby You'll Be...

Words can't describe any parents love for their children. It's really a reflection, in a small percentage, of the love our Heavenly Father has for his children. As I reflect on this little man's seven years and ponder his future, I can't help feeling happy, sad, excited, small, big, and ever other feeling...

Why happy? Because Rock has changed my life! He's made me want to be a better mom, wife, and most importantly follower of Christ.

Why sad? Because I can't slow down time. He's maturing and growing so quickly (as all kids do!) and I  sometimes want to freeze time.

Why excited? Because I can't wait to see what he'll become! I read John Piper say that we Christians should have children that will be good world changers for God's kingdom. That always encourages me as a parent of four and why it's beneficial to society--because we want to impact the world in a great way, and Rock is a great kid, that Lord willing, can be used to change the world!

Why small? Because I know I am sinful and have sinned against him and his siblings and by God's grace, majority of the time, I ask for forgiveness for failing God and failing him. Without God's kindness on me and him, I would not be a mom that fears God. That's beneficial to everyone because that means mommy and abba answer to someone, we don't, and can't, act like we have full authority (as if we can't ever be wrong) but we must remember we are sinners that can mess up and sin against our own children. Also, I feel small because Rock is not ultimately mine. I don't own him. God can take Rock any moment and sometimes that sobers me. He was loaned to PJ and myself for bringing him up in the admonition of the Lord...What an honor!

Why big? Because PJ and I am molding him to be a man of integrity. Not a small task. We have a big part to play in Rock's life and we can help mold him to be a world changer!

Our friend Heather gave Rock a book called "I Love You Forever" and I cried when I read it to him! (I think I cried a handful of times!). The mother in the book, sings a cute little song to her son...

I love you forever

I like you for always

As long as I'm living

My baby you'll be.

The Pastor Wife's Role

Being a pastor's wife is perhaps, not what people think and what people think...

I love being a help mate to my Lovely as he serves and loves our church family. I often hear, read or see things that remind me that the "Pastor Wife's" role can at times be unclear or misunderstood. If the pastor/overseer/elder (the Bible uses these interchangeably) role is unclear or misunderstood to some, then I'm sure the pastor wife's role is too!

I had a few misconceptions myself-- before I became a wife to a pastor/elder.

On one level, a wife of an elder/overseer is like other wives. The expectations are from God, just like any other Christian wife. The biblical expectations for the Christian wife are already difficult to do because of indwelling sin. There are no extra expectations on the pastor's wife, just what she is meant to do that honors and shows Christ to her family, friends, and world.  A pastor's wife is to make her priority the home over other people, things or jobs-- so it is with any other wife. A pastor wife is to love the local church body-- so it is with any other wife. A pastor's wife is to seek her spiritual gifts and use them accordingly--so it is with any other wife. You get the point. 

Now, on another level, being a wife to a pastor is unique, but so is every wife's role. Why? Because you are the wife to an individual who is unique as you are unique. So the whole situation is unique!

What I mean is... the pastor has a key responsibility to grow the sheep. If the sheep are unhealthy, he has a special responsibility to speak into their souls with God's word--he will give an account to the way he has taken care of the sheep that are entrusted to him. All husbands are also responsible for others, especially his wife and children. All Christian husbands are even responsible for other church members. But in a more strict way the pastor has to give an account before God (Hebrews 13:17). Because the pastor has a special obligation to God, their life and ministry will become more intense. 

I love the way Jonathan Leeman expresses it...

Pressures will increase to fight pride, forgive quickly, ignore criticism, love generously, sacrifice time together, and so forth. For her and for me both, the stakes of the Christian life will become higher, and so it will become that much more practically important that we are both abiding in the gospel. You might say that being a pastor or elder's wife doesn't add any new knobs to the stereo, it just turns up the volume. But don't misunderstand: the music is good! 

{Smile Moment} My Lovely

The love I have for this man...

I'm head over heels for him! just thought I'd share.

And I must say it's not because our love is based on emotions (trust me there's times we don't feel like loving each other) but it's based on the promise, the covenant we made to each other before our Lord Jesus Christ on June 25, 2005...And our love story still continues (if the Lord wills).

Have a blessed weekend!

Our rough Thanksgiving BUT still thankful...

On Thursday morning our 17 year old niece Danika Tibayan had an asthma attack that escalated to her passing out and flatlining twice.

She apparently was without oxygen for 30 minutes, she collapsed at home without a heart beat, and her mother (my sister-in-law) began CPR as medics arrived. Medics took over administering CPR and resuscitated her. They tried to get oxygen to her brain but because of her lungs collapsing it was impossible. Once in the ER she flat lined again and they resuscitated her for the second time.

They performed a cryotherapy technique called:

            Therapeutic hypothermia: This type of therapy is used for an unconscious patient who has                 

            spontaneous circulation after suffering an out of hospital heart attack. In the hospital, the     

            patient is cooled to 32°C to 34°C for 12 to 24 hours in hopes to minimize damage to brain   

           tissue and improve functional recovery. ( Healthline)

She is currently off the therapeutic machine and she is sustaining her normal body temperature. Now, we are just waiting for the seizures to stop (with meds) so they can slowly take her out of the induced coma.

We are constantly in prayer over this girl. We love her so much!  This is my letter to her...

Danky,

I know you like all the attention but this is a too much! :) We love you so much and are eager to hear more good news of your prognosis. The kids are asking for you and Rock was gonna cry because he wanted to know if you were ok. We miss you Danky and we want you to just wake up, laugh with us and be silly with us like you always are. The nurse put your hair up in a bun the other day and I was reminded of how you always put your hair up at your house when the family is hanging out, AND it reminds me of your funky dance you do when you get excited.

So I'm thinking of the things I want to buy you when you wake up---Is this why you did this, so we can all pamper you?! Oooh...you're funky Danky :D  I definitely have to buy you some yummy cupcakes from Sprinkles, your fav!

Key and Story have been pretending to be cheerleaders-- is this your doing? After seeing your sweet friends, how much they love you, and the support they've been to you, I wouldn't mind Key-Key and Storky being little cheerleaders. 

Danky, your Tito and I love you and thank God for your life and how you love the family. I read the essay you wrote to USC and it was encouraging. Yes, rebellion can be silly and immature and I'm so thankful you realized it and want to continue to grow in maturity. Please know your Tito and I are always here for you and want what's best for you in Christ Jesus. We want to be faithful to the Lord and be arrows that point to Christ, not to us, and because of that, maybe we can seem like we aren't on your side, but we are, and I know you know it :) 

You are a strong little one! Your body is taking a pounding and you just refuse to fold and throw in your cards! You're a fighter and I'm so thankful for your endurance. Your parents are so strong and I see where you get it from! They love you so much...Your dad keeps telling us stories of you and your mom has not left your side! They are both relying heavily on the Lord and just in constant prayer. They are so encouraging. 

Wake up soon--take your time though, do it slowly but keep resting physically and spiritually on the Lord. He is right there with you, never leaving your side. 

Love you Danky,

Tita Frances

 

 Our tradition for Danika for her birthday... ZPizza, Sprinkles and going to the beach.

 

 

 

I have more recent pictures but they're in our hard drive. I'll have to upload more later.

Thank you for all the prayers! The Tibayan family is so encouraged by everyone's love and constant prayers. Words can not express our gratitude. Dennis, Nina, and Niko are encouraged by your love. Please continue to pray.

Denver's Dark Night...

I can't fathom why someone would want to do what a 24-year-old man did, on morning of July 20th. Everything in me sees him as a monster. What went wrong with this man? 

I'm glad God gripped my heart this morning, as I spoke to my son, Rock. He asked, "Why did he do it mom?" My first words that came to my mind was, sin. I explained that Holmes is a sinner who got gripped by his evil desires, just as James speaks of. 

It kills me to think of unsuspecting couples, going to watch a movie, (just like PJ and I did at the mid-night showing) and some bringing their family and friends along, (just like PJ and I almost brought Rock to go with us, but we decided not to). It makes me emotional.

There was an article about forgiveness that PJ shared with me a few years ago, that was so insightful. I'll have to update with the link.

The article basically shed light on our human condition when we don't forgive. The reason we don't forgive or "can't" forgive a person(s) when they wrong us, is because we perceive them, in that act, as not being human or see them as a monster, and then we elevate ourselves far above them. Interesting. There two things at work there: 1) We condemn them and 2) We make ourselves god-like.

I have unimaginable sin and if I had all my thoughts on a screen for my friends and family to see, they'd be disguised and horrified at what evil lurks in my heart. Holmes is terribly evil for what he did. At the same time, I know he is a sinner who needs a Savior to free him from his monsters, his evil thoughts, his evil desires. As families have to move forward and figure out ways to cope, I hope and pray they come to only place that answers the awful questions they feel and are asking...Calvary. The place where Christ died to save sinners like me and you. We all fall short of our own standards and most importantly God's. God is infinitely holy and demands our full allegiance, but because we have bought Satan's lie, that we are better off without God and we make better Kings, we are cast away from our Creator because of our treason. But...But...He sent someone, He sent Jesus Christ to die on the cross for our treason,  IF we would repent of our sinfulness/treason, and believe in Christ's perfect life, death and resurrection! There's still hope at the cross of Christ. At the cross, evil and injustice are paid for fully and God's kindness makes way for new life for those who truly love him. 

I love Albert Mohler insights here...

Encouraged at what Christian Bale did...

A dose of fresh air in the mist of chaos: a beautiful baby born, what a blessing!

The twelve victims: they had faces and stories...

Real heros...

"1776...

The Continental Congress published the Declaration of Independence in Philadelphia, announcing the colonists' intent to form a new nation." (This little jingle is part of Rock's school:)

 Hope everyone had a blessed 4th of July!

{There's nothing more freeing than having your wrongs made right, at the cross of Jesus Christ. I'm just a beggar telling another beggar, where to go if you're thirsty}

OMGosh!!! My sister's getting married today!!! PJ will marry them today, in a private ceremony at the beach, but I'll be there to snap a few photos. OMGosh!!!

Good Job Sally!

Our church family member, Sally, graduated from her program Jump Start! "A subsidized  fellowship for people interested in working in the community (public) mental health field."

We were serenaded with some spoken word. It reminded me of this talented man!

Sally has an amazing testimony, I'm not sure if she realizes this but it really makes me SO happy in the LORD! I wrote someone these words, concerning Sally, that I'd like to share:

She's open and [seeks] correction. [I've talked] to Sally about how she parents the girls/discipline, etc... and she's been teachable with all of them! God is so kind and I love Sally very much. Every time I think or tell people about Sally and her testimony I can't help but get so teary eyed, because God completely transformed her! I get sad thinking of her in the past/before salvation and how I didn't want to hang out with her because I thought she was too much maintenance. I was a fool and God proved himself to me! I felt so humbled that God could make miracles, because that is exactly what I saw Sally's situation [in need of]. I would think "God can't save her." Wow, our God is amazing! Her story makes me worship him even more!

Just reading the above makes me feel so foolish but so glad. Thank you Sally, for being an instrument of God's saving grace, and proving me a fool! LOL!