Why happy? Because Rock has changed my life! He's made me want to be a better mom, wife, and most importantly follower of Christ.
Why sad? Because I can't slow down time. He's maturing and growing so quickly (as all kids do!) and I sometimes want to freeze time.
Why excited? Because I can't wait to see what he'll become! I read John Piper say that we Christians should have children that will be good world changers for God's kingdom. That always encourages me as a parent of four and why it's beneficial to society--because we want to impact the world in a great way, and Rock is a great kid, that Lord willing, can be used to change the world!
Why small? Because I know I am sinful and have sinned against him and his siblings and by God's grace, majority of the time, I ask for forgiveness for failing God and failing him. Without God's kindness on me and him, I would not be a mom that fears God. That's beneficial to everyone because that means mommy and abba answer to someone, we don't, and can't, act like we have full authority (as if we can't ever be wrong) but we must remember we are sinners that can mess up and sin against our own children. Also, I feel small because Rock is not ultimately mine. I don't own him. God can take Rock any moment and sometimes that sobers me. He was loaned to PJ and myself for bringing him up in the admonition of the Lord...What an honor!
Why big? Because PJ and I am molding him to be a man of integrity. Not a small task. We have a big part to play in Rock's life and we can help mold him to be a world changer!
Our friend Heather gave Rock a book called "I Love You Forever" and I cried when I read it to him! (I think I cried a handful of times!). The mother in the book, sings a cute little song to her son...
I love you forever
I like you for always
As long as I'm living
My baby you'll be.