mom

when i don't want to be mom today

there are days that being a mom is awesome. you feel like you got the hang of this motherhood, in fact you feel like the CEO! THEN there are days, weeks perhaps, that you can feel like you're gasping for air. the weight of the day-to-day gets overwhelming. simple meal plans feel like agony, refereeing the 10th fight makes you cringe. maybe i'm the only one with bad days....no, wait, I'm not.

this roller coaster happens often in our household. what can i do besides throw in the towel and give up? how can i make these ups and downs focused on Christ Jesus?

little humble ways that may help.

1. you can pray as you do things. pray as you cook. pray as you clean. pray as you run errands etc. pray out loud. have the kids pray for you. pray with them before you start the day. of course it would be ideal to wake up and pray for 30 minutes but in reality a mom of five, 10 years and younger, has a hard time doing much. instead of beating yourself up with the do's and don't s of the Christian faith, take grace and run with it.

2. communicate with your husband. when he comes through the door there are times he knows something is wrong. in our sinfulness he can feel our distance or anger. or see the teary eyes.  if we struggle with words, blurting out "i need a break!" is sufficient. a quick plan of action can be helpful. have your husband text people in order to set up a date night or plan a day he can watch the kids while you go out. try taking the initiative to set up a sisters-in-Christ hangout or simply being around refreshing company can provide an end goal for the week.

3. repent and go to the cross: if it's those type of days go, by God's grace, and ask God for forgiveness and humble yourself and ask the kids for forgiveness of specific sins you've committed against them. sorry is for non-sin issues. using biblical language helps them and us understand sin and God's loving mercy. speaking of the gospel in the midst of asking for forgiveness is helpful and necessary. 

4. lay low. If you're like me, staying home is much more relaxing then running errands with five in tow. try to set up the week so there are days you are out for a bit and other days for recuperating. my kids are a mixed bag. some love staying home, others thrive off being out. try to be loving and do both for the sake of everyone's sanity. if laying low is not restful then setting play dates with refreshing friends can be another option. i have friends that can't stay home (for their own sanity) so they pursue play dates aggressively.

5. reading time. this looks different depending on the age group and sort of takes training (but don't start when you're overwhelmed!). even the little ones can look at books with pictures, that works too! for older kids reading time works great, older siblings can read to the younger ones. reading is a special time to mind travel. if things are getting too hectic call for a time out and have everyone read while you gather your sanity. maybe remind them if they have not read God's Word for the day, now is the time. encourage them and teach them to pray for a church family member from the church directory.

5b. for little ones, i suggest training in "sit down time." we've practiced this since my 10 year was little and it has saved me multiple times. as you begin training, start in very small increments. teach the child to sit down, without playing, without toys, without fidgeting. i know, whaaaaat? yes. it's amazing when it works by God's grace! set the timer (start at 1 minute), sit next to them as you watch and help them keep the rules. after the timer goes off, everyone celebrates! then you try it again the following day, and continue to increase the time gradually. i'm not 100% sure where I was taught this but it must have been from a book or a past church member.

6. phone a friend. whether you email, text or call, asking women to lift you up in prayer is crucial. i've group texted my sisters-in-Christ and called out for prayer because of a trial. share the details of your sin or temptations and call them to action--prayer. when you see them at church gatherings it's nice to hear their love and concern.

i've noticed my heart has a certain trajectory if i spend some time in reading God's word early in the morning. every situation differs as to when you can read but we must all agree it is necessary for life. brainstorm how that might look with your heart open to Christ in order to move closer to him.

being a mom is tough but SO lovely and rewarding. how you allow the Lord to run your household will comprehensively shape how you view children (perhaps another post).

lean on the commitment you've made with your church family in bearing each others burdens. being in a community of grace and not performance breaks chains. if you don't have a church environment like that i encourage you to ask God to make you the instigator. light the fire. praise the Father for his Son, Christ Jesus, who died for messed up mothers like us.